


The Twelve Days of Pottermore

by iheartmwpp



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Disappointment, Don't Sing This At Home, Humor, Song Lyrics, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 10:00:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2846945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iheartmwpp/pseuds/iheartmwpp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am a spoiled, ungrateful child who didn't get what she wanted, so I complained about it on the internet. HAPPY CHRISTMAS!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Twelve Days of Pottermore

On the first day of Christmas, J.K. Rowling gave to me:  
The hometown of Snape and Lily

On the second day of Christmas, J.K. Rowling gave to me:  
Florean Fortescue, sort of  
And the hometown of Snape and Lily

On the third day of Christmas, J.K Rowling gave to me:  
Cauldrons...and...Potions...?  
Florean Fortescue  
And the hometown of Snape and Lily

On the fourth day of Christmas, J.K Rowling gave to me:  
Absolutely nothing  
Cauldrons and Potions  
Plus the Leaky Cauldron  
And the hometown of Snape and Lily

On the fifth day of Christmas, J.K. Rowling gave to me:  
 _THAT WAS TERRIBLE~!_  
Absolutely nothing  
One new tidbit  
One thing I liked  
And I don't really care what Uncle Vernon thinks

On the sixth day of Christmas, J.K. Rowling gave to me:  
A...complete lack of good vampire lore  
 _IT'S STILL TERRIBLE~!_  
Katie Bell's screams  
I don't even care  
Something about ice cream  
And a made-up town we apparently saw twice

On the seventh day of Christmas, J.K. Rowling gave to me:  
One chocolate frog card  
Some mistletoe berries  
 _NOT A SINGLE THING~!_  
A snowball while someone is dying  
One infusion of wormwood  
One date rape drug  
And you can steal things from Snape's bookshelves

On the eighth day of Christmas, J.K. Rowling gave to me:  
Rustling leaves are important  
I didn't know the Great Hall had portraits  
Slughorn's office is a circus tent  
 _VOLDY'S CHILDHOOD SUUUUCKED~!_  
Oh look, Katie's dying  
That's actually how I pictured Slughorn  
Fred and George are doing well  
And Narcissa's actually blonde, that's nice for her

On the ninth day of Christmas, J.K. Rowling gave to me:  
Nothing on the Room of Requirement  
I expected trinkets  
That looked horrifying  
A giant missed opportunity  
 _THIS IS UTTER CRAAAAP~!_  
And moving way too fast  
There’s been one good piece of info so far  
Okay maybe two  
But they’re so tiny you can barely tell

On the tenth day of Chrstmas, J.K Rowling gave to me:  
Totally not zombies  
I can actually see the diadem  
Why would Voldy wear a Muggle suit  
That certainly happened  
Nothing on vampires  
 _THE WORST PART SO FAAAAR~!_  
Blizzard effect is nice I guess  
Remember when each part had info  
Neither do I  
This isn’t really what I thought it’d be

On the eleventh day of Christmas, J.K. Rowling gave to me:  
Stuff on Draco Malfoy  
That I thought we already had  
But it was expanded  
Which was nice I suppose  
But I could have done with  
Other people instead  
 _THIS WAS ALL GUESSIBLE~!_  
Still waiting on Mad-Eye  
The entirety of the Order  
I knew we wouldn't get Slughorn  
And we still don't have Padfoot's biography

On the twelfth day of Christmas, J.K. Rowling gave to me:  
The Order of Merlin   
People are just finding out  
Merlin was in Slytherin  
How is that possible  
That info's been out for years now  
It is known, Khaleesi  
Also brand new info:  
 _FUDGE IS SUCH A GIIIIIIIIIIT~!_  
Least I grabbed some asphodel  
At this really sad funeral  
It was super important  
This whole thing was not a waste of time at _aaaaallllll~!_


End file.
